Communication Repetition: A theory to deepen communication to with your child with special needs
Emma Fisher, 1 min read. May 2020
Today, my 7-year-old did, and it made me realise something important. We had gone to my parent’s house because our home just wasn’t the right environment for us today. My mother was home, but my father was out for the morning.
My daughter asked, “Where’s Grandad?” and my mother answered her. Over the next two hours, she asked the same question multiple times, and in a sequence.
It suddenly dawned on me that she wasn’t asking because she didn’t know the answer – we had answered her several times and even asked her the same question, which she answered correctly. Instead, she was trying to make conversation and she didn’t know how to follow up or to talk about her Grandad being away longer than her initial idea of wanting to know he was, so she kept asking the same question.
I shared my realization with my mother, and we decided to test my theory. Every time my daughter asked the question again, we would gently guide the conversation to a new topic. It worked like a charm! This isn’t traditional distraction or redirection.
It’s more like verbal scripting – similar to reading a book with your child, where they learn about language and communication beyond just the words on the page.
For children with autism or ADHD who struggle with social norms in conversation, repetition can be a way to connect or reconnect when not knowing how else to further engage. By gently guiding the conversation, we can help them develop a sense of flow and learn how to manage discussions more effectively by following up with questions like “We’re you wondering about…?”, “Are you missing Grandad?” or a similar question, opening up their vocab, language and understanding but most importantly, using this time to practice.
Is your autistic or ADHD child repeating the same phrase, sentence, or question?
Share your experiences in the comments below – our community would love to hear from you!
So next time your child keeps repeating something, try this approach and see how it goes!
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Emma Fisher is a writer, owner and creator of ASD Books. She laughs at the idea of ‘spare time’, at best Emma is lucky to have child-free time. Almost all of her time is devoted to nurturing, guiding, and providing for her children, as a solo parent to five aged between 1 and 15 years old.
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